Wasted Handshakes, looking backwards - Part 1

A question poised to the group by Michael Hunter at a Netstorming event was something like "why do people come to networking meetings to just meet, shake hands and there's no follow-up"

My experience shows most people network to sell. Let's say I meet you, an IT guy, and I don't need IT right now, nor do you need a mortgage loan, nor a home listed, nor a.........right now. Thus, we both move on around the room shaking hands, collecting cards, smiling, nodding and wondering "what's the use." And it all starts over again tomorrow at yet another networking meeting. Yes, there might be a one-to-meeting scheduled.......might, probably not. Even then, there's very little relationship building. I'll resist the urge to compare the way most people attempt to network the same way many men go to bars; each are trying to pick up a sure thing (I resist the complete analogy..LOL).

Successful networking is based upon marketing, NOT selling. The basics are this -

1. I come to a networking event with a marketing mindset. My purpose is to start developing relationships through a series of events (processes I control) to draw attention to the benefits I offer, and I know this is going to take a long time.

2. When I meet someone, I begin asking them questions about their industry, what product or services they offer, what brought them to Austin, etc. My purpose is to start a relationship and if the original questions lead into discussions about Family and Hobbies, we have more to talk about. Many times the questions lead to assistance I can offer in terms of information or other needs.....but they probably won't even know that, at-that-time.
I don't have to tell them right now because I trust my process.

3. I have a process I control. That process includes how I handle business cards; mine are in my shirt pocket (not in my hand), theirs go into my right. I write notes, in front of them, on the back of their card.
Many times, I don't even give a card because the other person didn't even ask for it. Again, I'm ok with that because I trust my process. My business card, along with all the others they have shoved at them will be dropped aimlessly in the trash...I'm sorry, in a desk drawer anyway.

4. These cards stay in my right pocket, even changing pants, until I get to my desk. They are then put in a SPECIAL spot on my desk.

5. At some point in the next 2 to 3 days....NEVER the same day, I will -

a. put their name in my database and
b. send an email thanking the person for the visit.

This is part One. In the next post I will go deeper into my process and experience and what I will continue to do to try and NOT have wasted the handshake.

To that end....


Don't just habit your day away

Motivation gets you going, discipline keeps you growing  (from the Law of Consistency). I looked this morning to see what I'd be covering in a Lunch & Learn today, and you know.....things happen for a purpose and I don't believe in coincidences.

Before I read the lesson, I was in a blah blah mood. Going through the motions, not motivated. Dragging. And then, just reading that title (and having read/taught this chapter 8-10 times), and in a heartbeat, the thoughts about goals vs growth, motivation vs discipline came on and BAM!!
Great chapter. My favorite.

Discipline keeps you growing (and going I guess?). Discipline...choices....discipline is about making choices to off-set habits; choices of hope, growth, widening my SOI, thinking into my results.....choices. Make choices, stepping out of my comfort zone....understanding that the fear of change isn't real, but only a product of my conditioning..

Discipline, making choices, understanding, stepping out.

To that end....make choices, don't just habit your day away.

Coincidences? Not when you're trying to become more aware

"You must know yourself to grow yourself."
- John Maxwell

That's the statement John uses to introduce his chapter on THE LAW OF AWARENESS.

This book has been a big part of my growth the past two years, and this chapter has probably caused the biggest gulp. Being aware.

I wasn't planned (by me) that this is the chapter we studied this week in our Leadership lunch & learn...you see, many at lunch on Tuesday were also in an Empowerment Mentoring lesson on Monday night. The lesson was Authentic Journaling.

I didn't plan it, but getting into the law of awareness is a perfect follow-through after a deep dive into authentic journal.

"The danger isn't in knowing, but in not being aware of what you do know." Awareness..being aware. Journaling can...can...help with that.

James Russell Lowell said "no one can produce great things who is not thoroughly sincere in dealing with himself."

What are you struggling with? Career, family, money, direction.......

What talents and skills do you possess that support your desire?

Do you know what that desire is, or do you know it's just something....?

Proverbs 25:2 says "In His glory, God conceals matters. The glory of kings is to search matters out."

To that end...struggle to become more aware. It's worth it.


Hope and tasks; a strong combination.

What causes me to miss goals?

You're correct if you said 1. Not putting In the Time, bad Attitude, lack of Skill, not enough Knowlwdge and/or a Style problem.

Or, if I have these T.A.S.K.S. in order and just didn't have HOPE. 

Hope overcomes the real obstacles. With hope I have a sense of victory and will drive through the doubts and that subconscious gremlin that's doing everything it can to shut me down.

With HOPE I can

- find the Time

- improve my Attitude

- develop the Skill

- improve my Knowledge

Thinking before circumstances

So much truth in this.....

"Men are anxious to improve circumstances yet unwilling to improve themselves, they therefore remain bound." - James Allen in "As A Man Thinketh" 

I see a lot of new processes, systems, techniques and gadgets (circumstances)...but as another wise man said.., 

"If we don't spend at least as much time improving our thinking as those processes, systems, techniques and gadgets, we'll wonder about our lack." 


Why do businesses fail?

When we start are business, we're excited, we have dreams...we're at a certain place. And we start running. 

And our business is behind us. 

We're out in front, leading. 

Over time, the natural tendency is for our business to catch up with us. 

Eventually, if we let it, it will surpass us and we will struggle to keep up. If we even can.

But our business needs us to lead. It needs us to run out in front. Without the leadership, both will fail. But we can't lead if we aren't growing, building.

To lead well...to truly lead, we must build our selves out in front. We must grow at a faster pace than our business. The business person's success is dependent on his or her personal development being in a constant state of increase.

Our PERSONAL development must stay ahead of our business in order for it to be successful.

To that end....


Laying it all down...thinking about September's paycheck

I know, it's not all about money, but some things are.

1.      How much are you going to make on your September paycheck?

2.      Where do you “think” that business is going to come from? 

Think about that…what RESULTS do you want?

Think into those results with I.M.P.A.C.T....

What IDEAS do you have about getting those results?

MEDITATE (pray) on your ideas, the results you want.

PROPOSE QUESTIONS to yourself about the choices, behaviors, actions, causes and circumstances that could bring about those results.

ANALYZE/ACT - how it’s work for you in the past. What did you do right? Wrong? What needs to change? Do something even if it’s wrong (anything worth doing is worth doing poorly until you can learn to do it right!)

CONQUER the gremlins! We all have them. What negative talk to you have going on in your head? What are you saying when you talk to yourself? Fight the demons..the gremlins!

TRANSCRIBE (journal) your thoughts…your ideas…the results you want.

To that end....